Ethan Allen vs John Jay

Ethan Allen: You people claim Upstate New York as your home, so perhaps you’re qualified to speak to whether and when your state will secede from this union and become sovereign. The cartel who runs the business of the land for which your forefathers fought and died has repaid this service by taking your money and dividing it up among its friends. They use it to purchase the machinery of destruction (from themselves!) and, taking the poorest and darkest from among us, wield this power to its own gain around the world.  And how little they give back to you and yours! Your state is called the Empire State; and it is both the seat of power of a mighty empire and a land with sufficient resources and conditions as to become its own empire among the mediocrity which surrounds it. why must you continue to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, decide every day and every year to support, to FUND, the machinations of a commercial cartel hiding behind the guise of a democratic union of states? When will you reach out and take what is already yours, what your people built, and which the rest of the world might envy. How many livelihoods must be stolen from your Carrier plants, your Oneida silver factories, your Nestle chocolate factories, before you will stand up and give them back to those to whom they belong? When the land where America was is scorched and parched, when the machine caves in on itself, when patriotism is exposed for the sham it is, where will you be? What will become of your state? I admonish you today, do not be left clutching the tattered rags of the flag of the Colonialized Americas, weeping for the union that was real only for a fleeting moment. Instead, embrace your state’s own motto: EXCELSIOR. Ever upward. You have everything you need right where you are. Grab the reins and drive your state to its rightful seat of prominence. Be ready for the collapse of this flimsy union and shed not a tear for the poor and pitiful souls who dwell in its auslands to the south and west.  Your children will enjoy a life of peace, prosperity and plenty. It is only your luck and your right, being born there. Do not squander it.

Re Ethan Allen: if there wasn’t war, then defense, energy and construction companies would go out of business. then what? And weren’t you from Vermont? Anyways, I’m down. You write the petition bring it by my house I’ll sign up.

Ethan Allen: Aye, I hail from the Green Mountain State. I fought for a union that did not in the end measure up to our greatest hopes. Let me extend the goodwill of neighbors from our fair state to your north and east. I cannot offer you men right now, but I will keep watch over your fight.

John Jay: Bullhonky, Ethan Allen. Have you been to Rhode Island? I think Rhode Island is nearly as quaint as some of the finer parts of our dear London. It’s smaller than New York and easier to defend from invaders. Abandon New York and Vermont. Look to Rhode Island for the future.

Ethan Allen: As quaint as I’m sure it is, Rhode Island’s very smallness is its greatest liability. “Little Rhoady” lacks the resource base of New York, with New York’s teeming fresh water, abundant timber, coal, game, cattle, produce and salt, and this is not to mention New York’s commercial and industrial infrastructure. And what of New York City? Rhode Island is a nice place to recreate one’s self, but it is no seat of revolution. I hail from the Green Mountains of Vermont. From where do you hail, Mr. Jay?

John Jay: I was born in New York City. And did you know that Rhode Island’s economy is built upon three powerful industries: health services, tourism and manufacturing. Health services is the state’s largest industry. Growing industries include electronics, plastics, metal products, instruments, chemicals, and boat building. Free trade in the global context is turning all states into service based economies. Rhode Island is ahead of the curve in this respect. Move to Rhode Island. Or die in New York. And coal? Who cares about coal anymore?

Ethan Allen: Healthcare equals managed care equals customer service equals service economy. Plus plastics and chemical manufacturing will screw your tiny state up faster than you can say “Dupont.”

John Jay: Listen, Ethan Allen: you took Ticonderoga so New York graciously left you and your Onion River pseudorevolutionary roughnecks to your farms and your sheep. But be warned, Ethan Allen, do not come looking for a slice of Empire pie now that the Union is beginning to crumble. You and your Green Mountain boys are rough and ready, but so are New York’s Calico Indians and Rhode Island’s plucky Providence Platationers. Rhode Island harbors no ill will toward Vermont. We all must see ourselves as allies in the overall battle for self-sustenance through the dissolution of the Union. I urge you: do not attempt to mount forces. It is my hope we can count on your support when the time comes.

Published in: on January 26, 2010 at 1:21 pm  Leave a Comment  

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